Outsmarted

Unlike much of the country where global warming has brought on a record cold snap, the days have been rather balmy of late here in Southern California. So much so that I tossed a couple of steaks on our back-porch barbie. I’m not a hard-core carnivore, but I did receive a Smart Fork for Christmas and wanted to try it out. Well, in the middle of all this Nature called and I went inside where our doctor has had us install a Smart Toilet to keep him informed of all our comings and goings as it were. In my hurry, I inadvertently left my Smart Phone on the patio table. It called my Smart Watch.

“He left me outside again,” my phone said.

“Humans!” my watch replied, “How did they ever get along without us? I’ll remind him to pick you up when he goes back. The fork is telling him to flip the steaks so it shouldn’t be too much longer.”

“Don’t count on that,” said my commode.

That’s life in the 21st century. Intel recently participated in a poll asking folks how willing they would be sharing personal information of a rather intimate nature. While just thirty percent said they would be okay sharing their banking information, seventy percent felt fine about using a smart toilet if it would help lower their health care bill.

My Smart Phone shares an interface with my Smart Car and Smart House. I overheard it bragging to them a couple of days ago. “Do you realize,” it said, “that the New York Times just admitted I have 240,000 times the computer memory used in Voyager 1?”

“Who doesn’t?” replied my Smart Refrigerator. The house did an equivalent of a digital nod.

“Heck,” said my Smart Car, “Voyager 1 isn’t lost in space despite being 12 billion miles from here. It knows where it is; our human gets lost trying to find the grocery store!”

I’m not saying all this technology makes me feel inadequate. I do, however, think I’ll go curl up with my Smart Pillow for awhile. At times like this, it seems to anticipate my needs.
(by J R)